From Bed, No. 1

So I’m becoming a dad.

I guess that could be scary, and there are things that I’m scared about. But being scared, being afraid, is usually about knowing something could happen, that you have no control over, and fearing it out of sheer instinct.

That knowledge doesn’t make all the what-if’s less scary. But it does mean that I don’t need to be blindly afraid of them. Because I can control myself, and my reaction to that fear.

One thing that I’m not worried about is being a good dad. I am actually luckier than most in that I have two really great examples of strong, kind fathers. If I can follow in their footsteps, I’ll be a great father. If I can improve in any way, all the better.

I know the routine for Delivery Day. I know where to go, I have all the numbers in my phone to call, and I know what should happen, and generally what’s likely to go wrong.

So I remain patient and yet anxious. Time is going fast and slow simultaneously.

All this to say, I’m adjusting to a new perspective. I’m excited about the final Harry Potter. I’m awaiting the new iPhone with baited breath. But these kinds of things aren’t even on the same chart as my joy and wonder at becoming a father. This is the next challenge. This is the greatest thing I will ever do. And I can’t wait to get started.

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